“Da Night Bafo Christmas”
From the CD “Moonbows for Christmas
Was da night bafo’ Christmas, and all ova’ da place,
Not even da geckos was showin’ their face.
Da stockings was hangin’ on top da TV
(‘Cause no mo’ fireplace in Hawai’i)
Da kids stay all crashed, my old man too.
They leave all da work for you-know-who.
So me, I stay pickin’ up alla their toys,
When – boom! – outside get only big noise!
I run to da window, I open ’em up,
I stick out my head and I yell, “Eh! Whassup?!”
And then, I no can ba-lieve what I seen!
Was so unreal, you know what I mean?
This fat haole guy get his reindeers in my yard!
And reindeers not housebroken, you know, as’ why hard!
But nemmind, this Christmas, so I cut ’em some slack.
Plus, had uku pile presents pokin’ outta his sack!
So I wait ’till he pau tie up his reindeer,
Then I yell out da window, “Huui! Brah, ova hea!”
An’ I tell ’em first thing, when I open da door,
“Eh, Hemo your shoes! You going dirty my floor!”
He take off his boots, he tell, “You know who I am?”
I go, “Ho! From the smell, must be Mr. Toe Jam!”
He make mempachi eyes and he go, “Ho, ho, ho!”
By now, I stay thinking this guy kinda slow!
He look like my Tutu, but little less weight,
And his beard stay so white, mo’ white than shark bait!
He stay all in red, specially his nose,
And get reindeer spit on top his nice clothes!
But him, he no care; he just smile at me,
And he start fo’ put presents unda-neath da tree.
I tell ’em, “Eh, brah, no need make li’dat,
And watch where you step! You going ma-ke da cat!”
Then, out from his bag, he pull one brand new computah,
Choke video games, and one motorized scootah!
He try for fill up da Christmas socks too,
But had so much pukas, all da stuff went fall troo.
When he pau, I tell ’em, “Eh Santa, try wait!
I get plenty leftovahs, I go make you one plate!”
But he nevah like hang, he had so much fo’ do;
Gotta make all them small kids’ wishes come true.
So I wave ’em goodbye, and I flash ’em da shaka,
And I tell ’em, “Mele Kalikimaka!”
When he hear that, he stop…and I telling you true,
He go, “Garans ball-barans! Merry Christmas to you!”
* In case you are not familiar with the Hawaiian Pidgin, CLICK HERE for the sample.
Cute! You’re my source for all this stuff! 🙂
.-= Peter Liu´s last blog ..A Fabulously Frugal Christmas =-.
missing da kine Christmas…palm trees and sand. Mele Kalikimaka friend.
.-= Karen Johnson´s last blog ..Mary Had a Baby Boy =-.
The love photo!! Mele Kalikimaka from da east coast!
.-= East Coast Wahine´s last blog ..Mele Kalikimaka – Hau’oli Lanui! =-.
What an awesome post! I just stumbled on your blog from the Aloha Friday meme link on An Island Life. I’m so glad I stopped by. I’m laughing and crying at this Christmas post. I moved away from home 8 years ago. Although I make it back to Hawaii once a year, I still miss it so much. I loved the pidgin. So funny! I don’t know how long it’s been since I heard someone say “garans ball-barans” and “as-why-hard”. You’re so funny.
I’m so glad I found your blog. Hope you have a great weekend. Oh and Happy Aloha Friday!
Kristi, Live and Love…Out Loud