This morning I woke  up feeling anxious. The thought that it is my 50th birthday this weekend started giving me cold sweats and  a fast heart beat.

Thoughts and questions started  racing though my head such as “Did I really organized a gathering at the beach and invited all my friends to come to it?” Being an Introvert, organizing a “party” and “inviting a lot of people to come” is opposite of my nature. Yet, deep inside of me that’s what I really wanted to do on my 50th birthday – to gather my friends and family to celebrate this milestone in my life.

Why am I having this huge celebration? Why can’t I just have a small family gathering at home to celebrate my 50th birthday?  Well… there is actually a small family gathering happening at home on Saturday to celebrate my birthday with 3 families (the Keplers, the Nakagawas and the Mochizukis ) who’s been our “ohana” on Maui for many years.  My friends Cassie, Karene, Miki and Aki, along with my husband, daughter and son are planning and doing all the work …  That will be a special family time.  I am very grateful to have this families here on Maui, as I am far away from my family in the Philippines.

So why have another “celebration” at the beach park on Sunday? …

This year I have attended several “celebration of life” events, that actually are “memorial services” of loved ones who passed away. In each of the celebration I would hear  family and friends honor the one who passed away. In the back of my mind I would think “I wish “so and so” is hearing these, I bet she/he will feel so loved and he/she would want to thank these people and give them hugs and kisses”…

Life is precious and we just never know when it’s gonna end. For some it is sudden, for others they had some time to plan ….

So what I am saying is this … I wanted a celebration of life while I am alive … to thank everyone who’s been a part of my life … and celebrating 50th birthday seems to be a great time to do it.  I really don’t want gifts, I really am not after the attention,  I just want my friends to know how important they are in my life …. old friends, new friends, and friend who I only “see” on Facebook 🙂

I understand that the “Sunday afternoon” time might not work out for some friends and their families. I understand that there are many things happening in our lives that that everyone who wants to come will be able to come. That is fine. As long as I know that I invited everyone … as long as all my friends know that I wanted them to be a part of my celebration … all is well.

Back to that anxious feeling … I think it just stems from the fact that I am not really a party planner and as much as my husband is trying to  help me organize this thing, there are just many variables.  What if it rains? What if it’s too windy? Will people really show up? Will there be enough food an drinks? Will people have a good time, or will they be bored? Ahhhh… I worry too much. I really do.  I have to remind myself that the people who are coming are my family and friends.  They are coming because they love me and wants to celebrate this half century milestone with me. Even if it rains, even if it gets windy, we will all have a great time … because we will be together….

Another culprit on  this anxious feeling is the fact that I had been obsessing on this “Pineapple Theme” party and had been  pinning at Pinterest way too much. But aren’t all these pineapple party decorations and stuff so adorable?  I wanted to decorate with all those pineapple thingies with this as “Maui Gold”  ….but nah …. I really can’t. Not enough time and not enough money. Maybe we will save all this party planning with a theme for my daughter’s wedding someday.  At that time, maybe we will just hire a wedding coordinator 🙂  By the way, that Pineapple on the beach photo that I had been using, that is a photo of my friend June at Pixiebug Adventures.

This week I had been going to Kamaole Beach Park III after work to check out what it looks like at 5:00ish to 7:00ish … to scope out and check where at Kam III is best to set up my party. Should we be at the grassy area of the park or should we just set up down close to the ocean? Will we need to set up a tent or not? Ahhhh.  whatever.  We will decide when we are there ….

As I visited Kam III this week, I took some photos …

The south end of Kam III where Hope Chapel usually have their beach baptism celebration is where I am thinking we should be. There are several options.  We can be at that corner close to the road where there are tables and shade already:

We can be on this grassy area so it’s close to the beach and we can just walk down there for the Maui Sunset photo session:

or we can just set up on this sandy area down here ….

The celebration will culminate in a Maui Sunset photo session.  As many of you know … I love watching Maui Sunsets … and that would be a great time to gather … be thankful for the life we love … and take some selfies and groupies along with Maui Sunset pics 🙂